CampbellH

= = **__Romeo__** **__and Juliet Script__**
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Nofry: Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Verona where we lay our scene, a pair of star crossed lovers take their life, doth with their death, bury their parents’ strife.

Nofry: I will bite my thumb at them, which is a disgrace, if they bear it. (bites thumb)

Hank: Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

Nofry: I do bite my thumb, sir. (They fight)

Hank: Rebellious subjects, enemies to peace, have thrice disturbed the quiet of our streets, once more, on pain of death, all men depart.

Nofry: (Crying) Ay me, sad hours seem long.

Hank: Saints do not move, though grant for prayers sake.

Nofry: Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take.

Hank: Romeo! Madman! Passion! Lover!

Nofry: He jests as scars that never felt a wound. But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief that thou, her maid, art far more fair than she. Be not her maid since she is envious. Her vestal livery is but sick and green, and none but fools do wear it. Cast it off. It is my lady. O, it is my love! O, that she knew she were! She speaks, yet she says nothing. What of that?

Hank: O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name, or if thou wilt not, be but sworn by my love, and I’ll no longer be a Capulet.

Hank: Romeo, thou art a villain!

Nofry: Villain I am not!

Hank: I am for you.

Nofry: Gentle Mercutio, put thy rapier up. The prince expressly hath forbid bandying in Verona streets.

Nofry: (as Mercutio) A plague o’ both houses.

Hank: Thou wretched boy, that didst consort him here, shalt with him hence.

Nofry: This shall determine that. (Stabs Tybalt) Hank: Romeo slew him, he slew Mercutio, and for that offence we immediately do exile him hence.

Hank: Romeo, Romeo, Romeo, here’s drink, I drink to thee.

Nofry: Here’s to my love. (Drinks) O true apothecary, thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.

Hank: This is thy sheath. There rust, and let me die. (Stabs himself)

** Lower **** Moreland High School **** Satire ** //Eric, Brotsky (Cashier), Hank Campbell (Woman), Jacob Hoffman (Broski)//

Broski: yo yo yo! What’s new Woman!

Woman: Shut up I have a text. (looking at phone)

Broski: You wanna go hit up the jawnskizzle Wawa?

Woman: Yeah I have to go shower and change first. (exit room briefly) I’m back.

Broski: Ite lets (interruption)

Woman: Shut up I have a text.

Broski: Cmon lets bounce to the jawnski.

**(In Wawa)** Broski: Check it Woman! 8 gallons of Raspberry Iced Tea! (holding bottle)

Woman: Can I have…I gotta text.

Broski: (to cashier) What’s up pipsqueak Charlie man dog!

Cashier: What?

Broski: I’ll be purchasing this jawn jawnski jaw…iced tea.

Cashier: That’ll be 5 dollars.

Broski: Here you go! (hand him money) Keep the change.

Cashier: Sir, this is a quarter.

Broski: Yo homeboy you trynna mess up in this brisket!

Cashier: Yes.

Broski: Whoa Whoa I meant a shove fight!

Cashier: … Are you buying the iced tea or not?

Broski: Yea one sec…(interruption)

Woman: FACEBOOK NOTIFICATION!

Cashier: Both of you get out of my store.

Broski: Ite fine, lets peace Woman!

Woman: After this text. Ugh I have to shower.