ScottA

=Ancient Middle East Epic=

The Epic of Henry __ Chapter 1: The Loss __ Once upon a time, there was a land call Humerb that was nearly paradise. It had abundant vegetation, very arable land, and the latest technology that seemed incredible even to its inhabitants. The people there were kind to one another, and shared everything. There was no poverty, no hunger, and no one was wealthier than his neighbor. In this land, everyone was either a manual laborer, a traveler, or served the community by being a doctor, lawyer, teacher, or any other profession that required a higher level of education. On everyone's sixteenth birthday, they were assigned to be a manual laborer, assigned to have a higher education, or given a map and the latest transportation technology and told to travel the world. In this land lived a young man named Henry of Humerb. His parents were both manual laborers, and Henry aspired to become a traveler. As a young boy, Henry was intelligent, creative and athletic. However, he lacked an essential part of his brain that he needed in order to fit in with society: he lacked the ability to think before he spoke, earning him the name of “Pedinor [1] ”. Ped, as they called him for short, struggled through his childhood with his social disability. His educators and peers hoped he would outgrow this problem when he reached adulthood, for they knew he could not just say whatever came to his mind and still be accepted. On the dawn of Ped's 16th birthday, he awoke with a feeling of apprehension. He put on his best suit and tie, and walked the short distance to the king's palace in order to be given direction. At the king's palace, he was greeted by his friends Rich and Naomi, who shared the same birthday as him. They entered the palace and nervously walked through the large foyer filled with elegant tapestries, each which told a story of heroics, courage, or was just for decoration. As they reached the door marked “You are about to enter the King's Cabin,” they stopped and looked at each other, each with trepidation in his or her eyes. Over the loudspeaker they heard, “Enter, new adults, to begin the first day of the rest of your lives!” Rich reached out with a trembling hand and opened the door. The found themselves standing in a large room, with a very fat king sitting in the center, amidst a pile of money. Although everyone shared what they had, the king was always wealthier than everyone else, and took care not to let anyone forget that. “Hello there Richard.” The King bellowed. “Good day to you, Naomi. And, you must be Henry, also known as Pedinor. What do you have to say to me, young fellow?” Ped immediately blurted out the first thing that had come to mind. “Hi there, you fat lazy slob. How long has your stupid, undeveloped mind been counting all that money? At least a year I would say!” As soon as he spoke he clamped his hand over his mouth. The king looked extremely angry; his contemporaries, extremely horrified. However, instead of yelling at Ped, the king did a most unusual thing. He reached behind his rather large chair, which was necessary to accommodate his rather large bottom, and pulled out a long, thin rope that had a small circle at one end. He said to Ped, “Remove your hand from your mouth.” As soon as Ped did as he was directed, the king swung the rope-like object and inserted it into Ped's mouth. He pulled it out quickly, and at the end of the rope was a cloud of words. Ped, Naomi and Rich were very confused. Ped opened his mouth and said, “What did you just do?” However, no sound came out. Ped tried again, but to no avail. He had lost the power of speech. Naomi asked the king, “Why did you do that?” The king replied, “I have taken the power of words from Pedinor. In order to get his speech back, he must go to the Thoughts and Words Emperor and ask for it. That is located about 100 miles from here. You two may go with him on the journey; however, there is a consequence to doing so.” Rich and Naomi wanted to help their friend, so they agreed. “Okay. The first effect of your decision is a good one. I am giving you a map to go there. The second, however, is not so good.” With these words, the king stole the power of speech from the two, and immediately sent the three of them on their way. Outside the king's palace, they were literally at a loss for words. They did not know how to communicate with each other. Rich took a pen from his pocket and tried to write on a piece of paper, but evidently, when their speech was taken, so was the ability to write down words. Naomi and Rich wanted to get to the Emperor as soon as possible, so they took the map and began to the consult it. Ped, on the other hand, felt terrible. He knew it was his fault that Rich and Naomi could not talk anymore, and he wanted them to know how sorry he was. He absently made the motion of “I'm sorry” using sign language that he, along with every other child, learned as a baby. Just then, he realized what that meant: He and his friends could use sign language to communicate with each other, as the King, in his stupidity, most likely forgot about this language used between mothers and their children. Ped ran over to his friends and frantically signed, “We can use sign language!” Rich and Naomi were ecstatic about this idea, and began to figure out a plan using their hands. In the end, it was decided that they each would retrieve the supplies they needed, then set off at nightfall. Ped's job was to obtain a boat, boating safety equipment, and back up equipment. As everyone shared transportation in his community, he took a canoe from the harbor and dragged it to their meeting place; thankfully, it wasn't far from the port. Soon, his friends arrived and they set of on their journey. __ Chapter 2: The Journey __ Naomi, Rich, and Ped set off on their journey in silence. They had all their supplies needed-food, water, portable shelters, blankets, etc., and a handful of sign language dictionaries. As they were sailing across the vast open sea of Aquamare, they heard a little splash. Naomi looked around, frightened. “What was that?” she signed. Rich and Ped shrugged. Then they heard the splash again, only this time they felt drops of water land of them. Suddenly a huge, green scaly thing pops out of the water, its head inches from Rich's shoulder. He opens his mouth wide, and Ped assumes that Rich is screaming. Ped looks at the monster more closely while it is out of the water. It has a large head that looks like a frog, a body like a horse, and legs like that of a fish. He decides to call it Rapisqua, and signs, “Hey Rapisqua, you're just a stupid ugly animal that has no life. I bet you just sit there and do nothing all day.” Then, the monster ducked back down into the water again so it could breathe. The second time it jumps out of the water, it grasps Rich's whole head in its wide mouth, seems to flash a grin, and pulls Rich down under. Ped and Naomi sit there, dumbfounded. They can't believe that their friend was just eaten by a sea monster. Depressed, and in mourning, they paddle the boat all night until they reach a beach at dawn. The two peers set up their portable camp, and sleep in the rising morning sun. When they awake, it is mid-afternoon. They eat a little and drink a little, and try to figure out what to do next. While they are debating in silence, a short fellow with three heads comes lumbering towards them. On closer inspection, he is not human at all; he has three heads, arms, and legs and 12 phalanges in total, although they are not in normal places. He stands about 4 feet tall. Ped decides to name him Parviomo. Parviomo looks at the two humans curiously, then starts speaking in a language that is unfamiliar to Naomi and him. Ped decides to use sign language, and asks Parviomo, “Hey, little person. You just want to be human like us. But you will never be human. You know why? Because you're a freak!” Parviomo suddenly puts two fingers in his mouth and lets out a low whistle. A hundred other little “men” like Parviomo come rushing out of the bushes, and proceed to attack Naomi. After they attack her and she is obviously dead, the little “men” divide up her body among themselves and proceed to eat her. Ped could not stand to watch this, so he hurriedly packed up the supplies and tried to find his way using the map. The canoe he has converts to a high-speed bicycle, so he climbs onto it and speeds down the beach, following the map that the King gave them. Because Ped is alone and the path to the Emperor is pretty easy, he starts to think. He thinks, “Okay, so apparently sign language is universal. My name, Pedinor, means foot in the mouth. When I used to be able to speak, I would blurt out anything that came to my mind. This is why the king has cursed me. I think he wanted me to learn a lesson. I should always think before I speak...or sign. Words can hurt other people.” Ped realized that this was the meaning of the journey all along. He thought maybe, just maybe, because he realized the point, that the curse would be lifted, but it wasn't. He tried and tried, but he still could not produce a sound. He reached the last stretch to the emperor at nightfall. He decided to lay down and rest before he went up the treacherous path. __ Chapter 3: The Result __ After a good night's rest and a hearty breakfast of a bagel with some extremely warm grapes, he was ready to climb up the steep mountainside to reach the Emperor of Thoughts and Words. The canoe he chose also happened to be a fold-away canoe, so he packed it, along with his other belongings into his bulging backpack and set off. He was about to reach the top of the mountain when he saw a huge ostrich-looking bird near the top. When he zoomed in on his binoculars, he could see that it had the head of a dog, the body of an ostrich, and two legs that looked like elephant legs. He named it Canismagnavielephas, or Camagalephas for short. Even with his one on one chat with himself the previous day, the lesson he learned did not come to his mind and quickly signed to the Camagelephas, “Hey you big ugly ostrich, come and get me!” Although the bird was large, it had the speed of a cheetah. It charged straight at him, and before Ped had a chance to move, he was pushed off the mountain. Ped immediately felt regret for his actions. In midair, Ped thought he was going to fall on the hard ground below him, but he did not. Instead, he landed in a pile of pillows, and bounced back up to the mountain. Ped knew in that moment he had been cured of his illness, because he felt regret for the words he signed. As he climbed up the steps to the large structure and went inside, the man at the front desk, presumably the Emperor, said, “Pedinor? You may speak now.” Ped opened his mouth and said, “Wow, this is so cool.” He took a look at the man at the front desk, a lanky man with a funny hat, and almost told him he reminded him of a string bean that was deformed at the top. He then remembered that his words have consequences, and instead said, “I am so happy I can speak again. Good day to you sir.” The man at the desk smiled. “I believe you are cured, Pedinor. I also believe you have earned your name back, Henry of Humerb.” Then, the man at the front desk stood up, and became the fat king. “You have learned your lesson well, Henry. Because of this, I will reward you. First, you may have your friends back.” With that, Rich and Naomi appeared, unhurt, out of nowhere. “Second,” the king the continued, “I will give you a way to get back home in style. Outside is a luxury jet, which I want the three of you to take home. However, if I find that you did not learn your lesson at any part in the rest of your life, you will be cursed forever.” With a flourish, the fat king disappeared. “Where did you guys go?” Rich asked, after he carefully planned what he was going to say. “I don't know, but it was full of spikes and thorns and animals that could hurt us. Thankfully, we were not attacked, and were able to return safely,” Naomi replied. “I want to go home now.” The three friends couldn't agree more, and set off on their comfortable, convenient journey home. Henry was happy to have his name, his friends, and the power of speech back again. When Naomi described her experience with many risks, he knew that not thinking before he spoke could hurt other people, both mentally and physically. He promised himself that he would always think before he spoke for the rest of his life.

[1] Latin, (ped=foot, or=mouth) which makes “foot in mouth” = = =Satire= = = Marinara… Not the Sauce By: Dan Shahar, and Arielle Scott Once upon a time there lived a girl named Marinara, Marinara da Venice. She moved from Venice, Italy to a small village called Lower Moreland. Upon her arrival to her first day of her brand new English speaking school, she immediately noticed some peculiarities among the students and some of the faculty. First of all, she noticed that every singles girl wore UGG™. She felt out of place with her athletic sneakers. All over the wall were signs displaying the word “NOHT” and accompanied by a strange design of five squares. Marinara walked to her first class, AP Canadian Provinces, and noticed that the class was populated by humans smaller than she. Marinara thought to herself, “why are there so many ‘grade-niners’ in my AP class?”. As she listened to the discussion she noticed students on their cell phones typing to a place called “kgb” when the teacher asked a question. Marinara was overwhelmed with the amount of technology overpowering the school. After school when she returned to her house, and complained to the point where her mother drove her to Philadelphia International Airport and put her on a plane to somewhere unknown… and Marinara da Venice was never heard from or seen again.

This is my love story. It's called "The Unfortunate Intruder". I hope you like it. The Unfortunate Intruder “It's another scorching today here in Morrisville, folks. It's a great day to be at the beach, so pack up your bags and get out there,” the meteorologist on K95.6 announced through Kira Fisher's radio. Kira did not need the weatherman to tell her the weather; she knew it right from when her lungs filled with the unseasonably hot, humid air. Air-conditioning was not one of the things her family could afford. In fact, her family could just barely afford their poor excuse for a house. The Fishers' lives were filled with simple pleasures, such as outdoor exercise, hiking and being with their friends. Many neighbors said that there was no happier family than the Fishers. Kira was a bright young woman, her age just right for college, and had many scholarship opportunities, but she couldn't just leave her family. Her mother was a recovering liver cancer patient, and would still need years of treatment. Her father, Zachary Fisher provided most of the cash flow with his job as the CEO of CDCity, the most popular recording studio for up and coming artists. Although he was paid enough money for his family to be in the upper middle class, the medical bills for his sickly wife had to be paid for somehow. Therefore, Kira and her family were living just above the poverty line. The Fishers tended to associate themselves with other working class folk, whose motto was that rich people are rude, conceited and snobby. The Fishers adopted this way of thinking, and considered anyone who had more than three cars and a nice size house to be snobby and conceited. Tony Parker, upon hearing the weatherman's report, rang the bell beside his bed that alerted his personal assistant. “What is it, Master Parker,” the assistant said in that kind voice of his that masked his annoyance. “I want to go to the beach today,” Tony demanded. The assistant sighed. He did not want to be the bearer of bad news, but he had no choice. “I'm very sorry,” he began. “There was a terrible accident with two of the cars. They were parked in a line on the driveway, and your father climbed into the second car and put the car in drive instead of reverse.” Tony thought about this for a moment. “So you're telling me....My father rear-ended my mother's car? How bad can the damage be? And how is my father?” His assistant sighed again. “Well, your father was not himself this morning, as he didn't have his morning coffee because we were out. Not only did he put the car in drive, he also slammed on the gas pedal instead of the brake pedal when he realized he was going forward. And his condition, well, not so good. Your parents took the third car and rushed your father to the emergency room. He is in critical condition, but the doctors think he will pull through. There are no more cars left today to go to the beach, I'm sorry.” The assistant finished. “Oh,” Tony said disappointedly. “It's okay, I guess. I'll just...um...take a walk if I need to go somewhere.” Tony was not used to taking walks, as he had his car to drive anywhere he needed to go. The butler left the room, and Tony dressed himself, thinking that his day was going to be awful without his beloved mode of transportation. * * * It was ten o'clock in the morning, a few hours after Kira woke up. She was ready to start her day with her steady job: odd jobs around the neighborhood. Today she was cleaning the Garcia's gutters, walking the Dorings' dogs, and mowing the Parkers' lawn. The Parkers were a new job. All she knew was that they were on the other side of her little neighborhood, where the mansions were located. Her father would not be happy about that, but Kira was a little bit curious, so she took the job behind her father's back. The lawn job was in the morning and the others were in the afternoon, so she headed to the Parkers' first. Meanwhile, Tony was about to eat breakfast when he realized they were out of 2% milk. He couldn't have his cereal with regular 1% milk. This meant he needed to go to the convenience store, which meant he had to go outside. He went back upstairs and put on his shorts and a muscle shirt. While looking out his gargantuan bay window, he saw an unfamiliar figure with a lawn mower on his front yard. Curious, he ran down the stairs and burst through the front door, crashing into the young woman. “Er...Hello.” She said nervously. “Um, hi. Who are you? “Tony asked this strange girl. She didn't look like she was rich, but not exactly poor. There was a lot going on in her intense green eyes, which he realized were very beautiful. “I'm Kira. Kira Fisher. I was hired to mow your lawn. Are you the property owner?” Kira asked. “No, I'm his son. My name is Tony. It's very nice to meet you. I really like your eyes.” Tony said, then quickly realized what he just uttered. Kira blushed and looked down. “I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking.” Tony apologized. Kira smiled. “It's okay. I like your smile.” Tony flashed his brilliant pearly whites at her. “You know what, I like you. How about I take you to get you some coffee...after you finish the lawn.” Tony asked, hoping she would agree. “Wow, that would be awesome! I'll be finished in no time.” Kira replied, as she got back to work. While Kira mowed, Tony toasted a bagel and ate it. He could live without cereal for one day, if it meant watching a beautiful girl mow the lawn in the most graceful way. After a short amount of time, she was done. They walked together to the Community Coffee, home to 31 different flavors and counting. After they ordered their drinks, they went to a corner of the store where there were big comfortable chairs. They stared at each other in a loving way until Tony finally broke the silence. “So Kira, I know this is a little fast, but I was wondering if you would like to marry me?” The last part came out very fast, and he had to repeat himself. “Oh, Tony,” Kira gushed. “I am honored that you would like to be my husband. But I am so sorry. My father would never approve. He thinks your side of the neighborhood is full of snobby rich people, and my mother just got over being sick, and weddings are very stressful. I just can't accept your proposal.” “One medium Chocolate Banana, one medium Vanilla crème brulee,” the Community Coffee worker called. “I'll get it,” Tony said. As he walked toward the counter to retrieve their drinks, he tried to think of another way to be with the woman he loved at first sight, but he couldn't think of any. He brought the drinks back to their spot and they drank in silence. Finally, Kira spoke. “I want to be with you so much, but we can't. How about if every night I come to your house and we spend the night together.” Kira proposed. “Sorry,” Tony said. “My house is alarmed. Anytime someone opens the door or window, the alarm goes off, even when it isn't on. How about I come to your place. Do you have an alarm?” “I don't have an alarm system. That is a great idea. My address is 555 Woodrow Street.” Kira said. “Oh, I know where that is!” Tony exclaimed. “How about I come tonight. How do I come in?” “Well, my bedroom is in the back of the house. I'll leave my light on, so you know which one it is. Why don't you come, say, at 11:00? Is that okay?” Kira said. “Yeah, sure that's fine.” Tony replied. “I know you have other jobs to do, so see you later, Kira.” As Kira left the coffee shop, she was so excited. Tony Parker was coming to her house tonight! She didn't know if she could wait until the night. * * * “This dinner is great, dad.” Kira said to her dad while helping herself to mounds of noodles-for the third night in a row. Pasta was the cheapest food these days, so it was fortunate that Kira liked it, although she was getting kind of tired of it. “What are you plans tonight, sweet pea?” Her mother asked. “Ah, nothing,” Kira replied, although inside she thinking about the amazing night she would have with her lover, Tony. “That’s nice, dear. Maybe we could all watch a movie together at the park.” Her mother suggested. Every Saturday they showed a free family-friendly movie at the park. “That’s a great idea,” Kira started to say, but then remembered that the movies at the park were at 9:00. It wouldn’t be over by 11:00. “Actually, I’ll just stay home if you don’t mind. Maybe I’ll clean or something.” “Okay, well maybe we won’t go either,” Her father said disappointedly. Her mother nodded her head in agreement. “Well, I’ll start cleaning up now. It’s going to take a long time.” Kira said, standing up and stacking the various dishes and flatware. “Thank you, honey,” Her father said. Kira transferred her stacks to the sink and started to wash each one, careful to get every spot of leftover food. Her parents moved into the family room; her mother to knit, her father to read or do some work for his company. Kira started with the kitchen, mopping, dusting and shining the laminate counter. She moved through each room of her house and finished with her parents’ bedroom. When she was done and put away all her cleaning supplies, she went back into the family room to check on the time and her parents. Her dad was reading the newspaper, her mom was absently knitting an afghan and the clock read 10:30. “Oh, hello, Kira,” her father said. “It's getting kind of late. I think we should all retire to our chambers.” Sometimes Zachery Fisher liked to talk like he lived during Shakespeare's time. It annoyed everyone, which is exactly why he did it. “Well, it's not that late, I think I'll hang out in the family room for a bit longer with mom.” Kira replied. “Well actually, I'm just about done this afghan, so I am going to bed now too.” Her mother said. “Okay,” Kira tried to make her voice sound disappointed, but inside she was jumping up and down with joy. A little while ago, she realized that her house had //two// windows in the back, with the ladder smack in the middle between them. If her parents were going to bed now, then her light would be the only one that was on. It was almost too perfect. “Good night, mom. Good night, dad,” Kira said, hugging and kissing each of her parents. When they left the room, Kira sat down in her father's chair and daydreamed about what was to come in just a short while. * * * Kira sat on her bed surrounded by light. She glanced at her cheap alarm clock at least once every five seconds, and watched as it changed from 10:59 to 11:00 to 11:05 to 11:10, but there was no sign of her Tony. Suddenly, she heard a loud BANG!, like a gunshot and thought it came from her parents' room. She scampered out of her closet-sized bedroom and ran into her parents' room. It was a strange sight indeed. On the bed, looking sicker than ever, was her mother, on her face an expression of pure terror. Near the window was her father, holding a rifle and looking both scared and accomplished, if that was possible. Kira did not even know her father //had// a rifle. On the floor was Tony Parker, covered in blood and a hole right where his heart was. Blood and gore coated the just cleaned floor. “OH MY GOSH!” Kira yelled. “What have you done?” she asked her father. Zachery Fisher, normally calm, cool, and collected just stuttered. “I-I-I-I killed a man. I killed a man. I killed a man,” he kept repeating again and again. “I-I-I heard someone coming, an intruder, I thought he might hurt us, so I grabbed my rifle and shot him.” Kira was confused. “Since when do you have a rifle?” Then she realized the true matter at hand. “Do you know who that is? Did you know that he asked me to marry him? Do you know that you killed the only source of happiness in my life?” She attacked her father. Mr. Fisher was utterly shocked and speechless. “You know him? He asked you to //marry// him? Oh my gosh, Kira, I'm so sorry. I didn't know.” He tried to put his arm around his sobbing daughter, but she pushed him away. “Go away! I hate you!” Kira yelled as she ran weeping out of the room, left the house and never looked back. As she ran with no intention of going anywhere, Kira had many racing thoughts running through her mind. “It's all my fault. I should have known the layout of the house. It's all my parents' fault. If they had turned off their light when they were supposed to, he would've come to my window. It's all Tony's fault. He should have known how to disable his own alarm system. He should be smart enough to look in the window of the room before going in.” Then she remembered a story that her parents used to tell her, about two young people named Romeo and Juliet who killed themselves because they had some bad luck. She remembered she loved that story because she thought that nobody's luck could be //that// bad. Evidently, she was wrong. She tried to remember how the story ended. Romeo thought Juliet was dead, so he killed himself. When Juliet awoke from her death-like sleep and found Romeo dead, she immediately killed //her//self. “Well, I'm not going to kill myself,” she thought. “I just feel so depressed.” She sat down right in the middle of the sidewalk and stayed there until morning, weeping and pouring her heart out through her tears. The funeral was that afternoon. She watched as they carried the beautiful casket into the ground, and weeped when they covered it with soil. “I will never love again,” she vowed. And she never did, all because of bad timing, bad luck, and bad mistakes.

This next part relates to Romeo and Juliet: __The Unfortunate Intruder__ vs. __Romeo and Juliet__ __The Unfortunate Intruder__ tells the cliché story of: the poor girl meets the rich boy and they fall in love but they should not be together. As with most romantic comedies, this story would end in a marriage and everyone is happy. In __The Unfortunate Intruder__, the ending is far from romantic or comical: the male lover dies because of his poor timing, which is one of the attributes of the bad luck prevalent in the story. The bad luck is shown at first when it is said that her mother had liver cancer, again when Kira forgets to tell Tony which back window is hers, and when both Kira's and her parents' lights are on, causing Tony confusion. The worst luck is shown when Zachery Fisher mistakes Tony for an intruder, killing him along with his only child's love and happiness. In the play __Romeo and Juliet__, one of the main characters, Romeo, also experiences a series of unfortunate events. “O, I am Fortune's fool!” (3.1.142) when he realizes that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. If he had not been there with Benvolio and Mercutio, then he would have never killed Tybalt. In the beginning of the play, the Prince says that if the Montagues and Capulets ever fight again, they will be killed. Since Romeo did fight and killed a Capulet, he was supposed to die. Luck does not run well with him. His bad luck is further shown when he arrives at Juliet's casket two minutes too early. If his timing and luck were good, he should have gotten there just as she was waking up, but since she did not wake up, he killed himself. Both __The Unfortunate Intruder__ and __Romeo and Juliet__ show that bad luck has bad consequences. In both stories, they resulted in deaths. Tony, Romeo, Kira, and Juliet all show examples of bad luck, bad timing and bad mistakes.